Soul Whispers

I was driving to a friend's store today. I'm behind an old beat up car and the driver kept braking at all the green lights. The first two times was annoying but the third time had me screaming in my head, "What is with this idiot? Green means GO!!!!" Suddenly, one of my many voices chimes in with, "Think kind thoughts... remember?" to which i respond, "Oh yeah! Forgive me!" A little while later, another driver, who seemed to be driving along very rationally, suddenly brakes at a green light and all I could do was shake my head with annoyance and impatience. I get to the store and do my business then get back into the car to go pick up my son from school. Surely you can guess what happened: YES, believe it or not, yet another driver brakes at a green light. This time I stop and wonder, "Ok, what's going on?" and the answer comes back fast as lightning, "Someone would like to talk to you." Well, I've been in this body long enough to know that Spirit is asking for my attention by using situations known to irritate me and, as I look back over my week, I realize I have not taken one single moment to listen. I have not taken one single moment dedicated to Spirit, to hear what I need to hear in the Now. By some strange time trick, I happen to arrive at my son's school 8 minutes early which is highly unusual as I typically am running up 8 minutes after the bell rang. I don't like sitting and waiting, but fortunately, I had something to do: I had to open up my heart and mind and listen to Spirit.

So, I sat back in my car and started the process: one deep breath and suddenly it all unfolds. I sense/see me walking in a dark place, the valley of shadows, and I feel turmoil, torment, anguish all around me. My ears are filled with wailing, wimpering, crying out in pain and screams of terror. I wonder who is this? Where is this coming from? Is it from me? Is it coming through me? What? Then, to my surprise, I am not flooded with words and images but rather, the softest, gentlest voice rises up from my heart and says, "Look, they flood you with Love, why do you not receive?" My mind jumped up demanding, "Who is this?" and the answer, "I am your Soul, come walk with me." Reluctantly, I accept and wait humbly to be led. Together, we walk and now it seems the sea of pain and torment is calming somewhat. Then again, from my heart that soft, sweet voice rises up and says, "Look Universe has showered you with abundance! Why do you not receive?" At this point, the last seven years' blessings come flooding in, countless events, emotions both good and bad, and all the wonderful healing that has resulted is crystal clear. It is as clear as if it had all taken place yesterday and it is followed by a deep sense of gratitude, even for those events and situations that seemed to create such pain at the time. Gratitude, how good it feels! Finally, I feel my Soul rise up and I hear, "Look, I am offering Grace and Joy on a silver platter! Why do you not receive?" And suddenly, the floodgates open and the tears come pouring down my cheeks as I come to the realization that I have been my own worse enemy, denying mySelf the Love I deserve, denying mySelf the abundance I deserve, denying mySelf the Joy and Grace that is my due as a child of the Creator, a co-creator in this Earth plane.

And now, here I AM. I AM in a new place, a place I've never been before. Now I know with all my heart and Soul that all I have been praying for is right there waiting for me to receive and all that is left to say now is, "Open my heart and let the Love emanate far and wide Now! And so it is!" I take one last deep breath and as I exhale, the light goes on, the darkness fades and the pain melts away. All is as it should be!